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What guidance can you offer for someone who wants to be married but can't seem to even get a date? I'm 54 and I haven't been on a date in 15 years. Friends say I'm attractive, intelligent and fun, but it has been near impossible to even find single, eligible men near my decade, let alone ones who would entertain spending time with me. What am I missing? I would like to be married.

This is a problem for everyone. I see it all the time in my practice. As you described it is almost impossible to meet single men out in the world. I pay close attention to where men “gather”. It is so hard to find them that I notice when I do.

I hear men are at sporting events. If you are not interested in sports, this is not an ideal option because you certainly will lose them on game night. I have also seen them at Threadgills (“home-cookin”) and at nicer restaurant bars, like Ruth Chris steakhouse. It might be possible to meet a man at http://www.meetup.com/ depending on your interest. The good thing about meet ups is that you share a common interest.

Overall, finding older single men out in the real world seems next to impossible so you will have to meet them where they hang out the most, in front of their computers. Yes I know, here is the news nobody in their 50’s wants to hear, you have to go on-line. I’m sure that the simple thought of doing such a thing pains you in a thousand ways, but if you want to meet someone that has been around in the same decades, this is the best option. You can’t get married if you don’t meet men and the chances of you marrying the first one you meet is probably not going to happen.

I have an entire course on how to on-line date but for now, I have a few simple suggestions.

1. Pick a free service where there are many men to choose from http://www.plentyoffish.com/ might be a good one to start.

2. Put who you are in your profile. What you are interested in is far less important than giving them an in-depth look at your being. If you have a sense of humor, show it. Everyone responds to someone that makes them laugh.

3. Try to ignore the picture. Rarely does anyone look like what they post and in the end, most people never end up with someone that matches the “dream” created in their state of imagination. Too many other factors are at play and they are way more important than “the look”.

4. Don’t wait around for the guys to find your profile. Contact anyone that you are drawn to. The old rules you had about who contacts who are gone.

5. No phone calls, no extended e-mails. Meet for a cup of coffee near your home right away. You both will know within minutes if there is any “chemistry”.

6. Be interesting and interested. Even if you know he isn’t “it”, learn something new you didn’t know and impress the next guy with your new found knowledge.

7. Don’t be desperate. Men can spot it across a crowded room and will run the other direction. Remember, you are not desperate. There really are “plenty of fish”.

8. If you sitting on the fence, give the guy a chance. Nobody is who they really are on the first date and you probably aren’t either. After all, meeting someone new is like sitting through a job interview. Making it light and being present (instead of planning the wedding) will score you some points.

9. Don’t dwell on the success of the meeting. Move on and move forward. Meeting “Mr. Right” is in the numbers. You might have to meet many, many, many men to find him. But, it will be worth it when you say the “I do’s”.

You can do this and with the right attitude, it can be fun. There are success stories all over the place. I’m looking forward to hearing yours.

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Here's what's available: Phone Readings for people around the globe Individual In-Person Consultations Couples Consultations Fifteen Minute Phone Readings for quick answers to acute issues Intuition classes Relationship Workshops What you get: A comprehensive “to do” list in a practical order focusing on priorities and releasing the insignificant. Clarity and deep profound truths which provide the answers to difficult questions/issues. My personal undivided attention to address your real time issues either in person or by phone. I’ve helped my clients resolve or move through the following issues and/or challenges: Emotional issues that keep them stuck Romance (past, present, and future). Blocks or patterns that get in the way Relationships with others both professional and personal. Money Health Relocation – a top stressor in client’s lives “Where is the best place to live/work at the present time and in the near future? Business issues Resolving pet issues (animal communication) Career/Education Options All kinds of everyday life decisions no matter how big or small Clients report feeling as if they are holding a casual conversation. Yet, deep insight and forward movement are experienced. Make an appointment: When one reaches a cross-road and major life decisions need to be made. When relationships have potential endings or beginnings or if the middle seems just a bit much to sort through. When one’s issues pile up on top of another and the end result is total confusion. When one is so attached to the outcome that the truth can’t be seen or confronted.
ABOUT LOIS
Lois is an Austin Texas intuitive consultant and teacher. Lois started her intuitive work in 1990 by practicing on anyone and everyone she could find. Her professional career began in January of 1994 when a complete stranger (the word had gotten out) offered her money for her services. Soon after, in 1995, she started teaching intuition classes. Lois has a different delivery than most other intuitive readers in that she assists her clients with processing information rather than just providing a long list of facts that is often emotionally overwhelming. Her style is conversational and her delivery always matches the individual needs of the client. Although Lois provides often painfully truthful insights, she generally delivers the information with love, compassion, and deep understanding. Lois has an educational background in business and has owned several successful ones. This makes it easy for her to communicate using appropriate vocabulary in all business, career, and financial matters. She is known for her ability of getting to the heart of the matter, only focusing on the details when necessary. She is exceptionally skilled in relationship matters. People who know her well often refer to her as “Austin’s Relationship Guru”. Lois had many different kinds of relationships for many years before meeting the love her life in 2002. She has helped thousands of people in this extremely difficult arena and has her own Love Lois column published in the Austin post http://www.austinpost.org/users/lois
VISION
PROFESSIONAL: It is my greatest hope and desire to help as many people as possible. I love teaching and I love doing personal consultations. I hope to reach a wider audience both locally and nationally through my writing and talk radio. I derive great joy from doing individual consultations and relationship counseling with couples. Most importantly, I would like to teach more students. There is nothing that I do that is more satisfying in my life than watching my students realize their own personal power through the development of their own intuition. Over the years I have trained many people that felt so empowered that have gone on to become professional readers. My students use the combination of intuition and intention to create powerful, meaningful lives. Intuition classes are fun and life-altering. Check them out at the link provided above. PERSONAL: I plan to continue all of my artistic endeavors. There are many. I have decorated four art cars, which I have over time, driven on a daily basis. The mermaid gate on this page is one of my artistic endeavors and leads back to the area where I do my consultations. My house is a reflection of my love of color. I have a colorful mural on my backyard fence. It is important to me to live in my own unique space that I have designed without consideration of “resale”. I plan to continue making my space uniquely mine. Travel is a great passion and there are still many places I have not been. Along the way, I hope to hit every great art museum that I haven’t seen and take pictures of all of nature’s wonders. I love the theatre and as long as plays are still being written, I will be attending.
Should you have any questions, please feel free to call me 10-6 central time at 512/445-0627.

CLICK ART CAR TO ENLARGE IMAGE

THE ERROR OF OMMISSION There is one question that I have received over time in many different ways. In the end it is the same question and it will always get the same answer. I would like to answer this question in a general format that applies no matter how the question is asked. By example, the most recent question I received was from an engaged man. He had an agreement with this fiancé that they would “wait” until they were married. It appears he waited as long as he could but finally one night he broke down and decided to pay for “a happy ending” (manual manipulation). No intercourse or emotional intimacy of any kind. Unfortunately, he also ended up with a hefty dose of guilt topped off by fear around telling his fiancé due to the potential consequences. For him, the consequences included the pain she would experience along with the pain she had the potential of inflicting on him in return. Even worst, there was the potential of losing the relationship all together. Unfortunately by not “telling”, the relationship will probably still end but only after a painful period filled with conflict and misery. Continued...
READ ABOUT LOIS ON JETBLUE.COM Lois Goodman's Austin By Spike Gillespie March 29, 2010

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