
This is a problem for everyone. I see it all the time in my practice. As you described it is almost impossible to meet single men out in the world. I pay close attention to where men “gather”. It is so hard to find them that I notice when I do.
I hear men are at sporting events. If you are not interested in sports, this is not an ideal option because you certainly will lose them on game night. I have also seen them at Threadgills (“home-cookin”) and at nicer restaurant bars, like Ruth Chris steakhouse. It might be possible to meet a man at http://www.meetup.com/ depending on your interest. The good thing about meet ups is that you share a common interest.
Overall, finding older single men out in the real world seems next to impossible so you will have to meet them where they hang out the most, in front of their computers. Yes I know, here is the news nobody in their 50’s wants to hear, you have to go on-line. I’m sure that the simple thought of doing such a thing pains you in a thousand ways, but if you want to meet someone that has been around in the same decades, this is the best option. You can’t get married if you don’t meet men and the chances of you marrying the first one you meet is probably not going to happen.
I have an entire course on how to on-line date but for now, I have a few simple suggestions.
1. Pick a free service where there are many men to choose from http://www.plentyoffish.com/ might be a good one to start.
2. Put who you are in your profile. What you are interested in is far less important than giving them an in-depth look at your being. If you have a sense of humor, show it. Everyone responds to someone that makes them laugh.
3. Try to ignore the picture. Rarely does anyone look like what they post and in the end, most people never end up with someone that matches the “dream” created in their state of imagination. Too many other factors are at play and they are way more important than “the look”.
4. Don’t wait around for the guys to find your profile. Contact anyone that you are drawn to. The old rules you had about who contacts who are gone.
5. No phone calls, no extended e-mails. Meet for a cup of coffee near your home right away. You both will know within minutes if there is any “chemistry”.
6. Be interesting and interested. Even if you know he isn’t “it”, learn something new you didn’t know and impress the next guy with your new found knowledge.
7. Don’t be desperate. Men can spot it across a crowded room and will run the other direction. Remember, you are not desperate. There really are “plenty of fish”.
8. If you sitting on the fence, give the guy a chance. Nobody is who they really are on the first date and you probably aren’t either. After all, meeting someone new is like sitting through a job interview. Making it light and being present (instead of planning the wedding) will score you some points.
9. Don’t dwell on the success of the meeting. Move on and move forward. Meeting “Mr. Right” is in the numbers. You might have to meet many, many, many men to find him. But, it will be worth it when you say the “I do’s”.
You can do this and with the right attitude, it can be fun. There are success stories all over the place. I’m looking forward to hearing yours.